Maggie Howell

Lots of wonderful women at the RCM conference

2011-11-17T12:44:00.001-08:00

It was wonderful being at the RCM conference this week and meeting SOOOO many wonderful midwives. In total we spoke to over 300 midwives, all of whom now have the antenatal pregnancy relaxation cd. what was particularly nice was that almost all of them were familiar with the use of hypnosis for childbirth and at least 80% being familiar with Natal Hypnotherapy. A far cry from when we first started 11 years ago and had to explain the concepts to every single person

On the slightly negative side is the persistent misunderstanding of the fact that there are key differences between NH and HypnoBirthing. I had many midwives initially confuse us with hypnoBirthing, often saying that they felt uncomfortable with the need to change their language, had to watch everything they said, felt nervous of doing something Wong, have a list of do's and dont's etc. As ever I reassured them that that is not the approach that Natal Hypnotherapy takes. I have heard this so many times from literally hundreds of midwives. I am so glad that we have developed NH alongside the Uk maternity system and work so closely with midwives.

I met lots of wonderful people using NH CDs in different ways. One was Val Watson who uses the CDs with pregnant asylum seekers. She mentioned several women who felt that listening to the CDs was a turning point in their pregnancy, that is was the first time they had been able to relax since coming to the UK, that they were beginning to look forward to the birth etc. She uses the CDs with an interpreter for a few times after which they do not need one any more.

I also met the lovely Helen from Cheeky wipes who used out CDs for all 4 of her births. She has created a fantastic product - a reusable baby wipes kit - check it out at http://www.cheekywipes.com/

I had a long chat with the girls from the NCT telling me all about the babycafe initiative - a friendly, welcoming support network for breastfeeding mums - http://www.thebabycafe.org/

I had a right giggle with the girls from MIDRS I wont mention helium balloons, mannequins and glasses of wine - they will know what I am talking about!

It was great to see the team from tummytub who we exhibited with 7 years ago at the NEC - amazing how time flies. www.tummytub.co.uk

So all in all a great couple of days

Passion rekindled

2011-11-07T14:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, it has truly been a long time since I last wrote my blog. No excuses - just looking after five energetic boys, a growing business, keeping up with school activities, training new practitioners, releasing a new cd, breastfeeding a toddler, ironing 15 school shirts a week and getting my nails done for the first time in my life! Life is certainly full.

Last week I started training practitioners again after a three year break. it took a considerable amount of planning and thinking, but once I was back in that room with 12 eager faces smiling and keen to learn I was back in my stride. I thoroughly enjoyed the week and in many ways feel my passion re kindled (not that it had fizzled out - just that it was at a steady low ember like burn). It is so exciting to have 12 passionate, enthusiastic women ready to pick up the baton and go out there to help hundreds more women have a better birth. I know there are more and more courses available for women preparing for birth, but I truly believe that the workshops we run are so powerful, so empowering and yet so simple. We strip away all the "noise" and just get back to basics, teaching couples simple and so easy to use techniques that really help them overcome fear and plan for a positive birth experience.

I feel that Natal Hypnotherapy is truly going from strength to strength!

Parenting help - remember It's a phase!

2010-06-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

I was asked recently what advice I would give to a new parent to stay calm and cope with the challenges of motherhood. As a mum of 5, the one phrase that comes to mind over and over again is "it's just a phase". When one of them has used a swear word for the 10th time to get a response, I remind myself "it is just a phase", when another has pulled down his pants in the middle of the playground, arched his back and done a huge wee right by the other kids, I say to myself "it is just a phase". When my eldest began answering back big time I had to stay calm and keep saying "it is just a phase" even though I know this phase could last a long time!!

The beauty with having had quite a few kids is that I realise now that all the challenging times and difficult behaviours do CHANGE. No matter how bad things seem, there will come a time when you realise that things have changed and that you and your child have moved on. How many times did you feel like a certain behaviour was just going on and on and then a few months later you suddenly realise at some point it just stopped. I can not remember the day that Jo suddenly stopped biting other toddlers when he was about 2, I can not remember the day when Jacob stopped caressing my breast for comfort, I can not even remember the day I stopped breastfeeding Alex, I can not remember the day when Toby stopped whining and used words clearly and succinctly. - all these things just silently and gracefully stopped.

I remember when my eldest was a baby, he developed colic when he was about 6 weeks old. After 3 nights, a well meaning friend try to comfort me by saying that colic normally goes by about 12 weeks. At that time I felt that 12 weeks seemed like an eternity - how was I going to cope with another 8 weeks, 56 more days of inconsolable crying. I remember wishing that the time would pass quickly but feeling like time was going so slowly. As it turned out, as soon as I stopped consuming dairy products his colic went completely and so he only had it for about a week. However the point was that it was just another phase that passed and I coped.

So my advice is no matter how bad things get, it will pass. I do not mean that you can just ignore it and hope it will go away - there is still a huge amount of parenting, explaining, communicating and loving that needs doing. However the reward is that once it has passed you will get a new peace (even for a short while) plus you will have learnt new coping strategies, found different ways to teach them how to deal with life and you will have grown as a parent. So the next time you feel like their tantrums are driving you nuts, or they refuse to eat anything green, or they repeat words they have heard in the playground, take a deep breath, remember that it is just a phase and think of it as an opportunity to help them find a new way to manage the situation and for you to grow as a parent.

life as a mum of 5!

2010-05-12T05:46:00.000-07:00

Life as a mum of 5 might daunt, even scare many women. Had I been told that I would become a mum of 5 prior to my years of motherhood, I would have laughed and thought you were mad - yet here I am 10 years later with 5 glorious little boys and feeling that it is quite normal.

As with all cases - when you look in on someone else's life you often say or think to yourself "how do they cope?" and yet when you are in that life you just do as that is all you can do.

Is it easy? - well yes and no. It is hectic, noisy and can be very challenging but on the whole I love it. I love having my "tribe" wherever I go, and yes I love that attention we get and the joy of being able to say I have 5 boys. I love seeing them all play together and the fact they will always have each other as companions. I am continually amazed how different they are and how unique in spite of them having the same home, parents and back ground.

And the challenges? Of course it is tiring keeping up with them ie the washing, activities, homework, food (!!) and so on, however the hardest part is making sure they all have enough of my time and that they are having their emotional needs met. I may have 5 boys - but they only have one mummy, regardless of how busy I am. We seem to go round in circles when one of them needs us more and is crying out for attention, we find a way to manage that one and then it seems like the next one needs their particular attention, and on it goes.

But at the end of the day, having 5 gorgeous happy, active boys all fighting for place on our big bed first thing in the morning is priceless.

Daniel's birth

2010-02-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

We knew from early on in my pregnancy that this baby was definitely going to be our last. We had both agreed that 4 kids would be great, however after our fourth we both felt that we wanted just one more. So when I fell pregnant we knew that this was definitely the last one so throughout my pregnancy I kept thinking…I have to really enjoy and cherish this as I will never feel / experience it again.

As with all my other pregnancies the last few weeks were a string of on.. off mild contractions. With each of them there were at least 3 occasions when I thought I was going into labour and then everything stopped. This time was no different, but whenever I thought things might be starting, I would simply lie down and do my hypnosis or I would go to bed and wait for things to pick up or fizzle out.
At about a week over the estimated due date I began getting stronger feelings every 10 mins or so throughout the day. As my eldest son (9 yrs) was adamant that he wanted to be at the birth, he stayed at home while we sent the other three off to my parents for the night. By about 9 o’clock it all seemed to stop again. We packed Jo off to bed and then my husband and I sat chatting for a while. I was beginning to get quite despondent and a bit fed up and had a bit of a cry which probably did me the world of good. As I feel there are great expectations of me because of my work, I had been very “cerebral” about the birth and was constantly analysing what was going on in my body rather than following my own advice to others and just letting go and trusting that everything was happening as it should.
As we had filled the pool up, Phil suggested I get in just to have a relax and to try it out (it was new style pool that I had not actually got in to). While in the pool we started chatting about our honey moon 12 years ago and reminisced about it in great detail. An hour after my last contraction they suddenly started up again and then never stopped.

We had a blissful few hours in our candle lit living room with me in the pool, as we chatted quietly or dozed between contractions. I had not planned on staying in the pool as on a self examination I was hardly even a centimetre dilated. However as the contractions began to become more frequent and increased in intensity I did not really want to be anywhere else. By midnight I knew things were well under way and can honestly say I was enjoying it.

The sensations were strong and powerful and I had to really focus my breathing, but as with my pregnancy I kept telling myself that this was the last time I would experience it so I might as well make the most of it. A couple of times I began to doubt my self (classic self doubt phases around 7 cm dilated) but then I found myself saying “I can do this – my body is doing this – just go with it – you have done this before”. It was a completely instinctive response and really helped me. Unlike my other births I found that I was more mobile during contractions as I found that swaying or rotating my hips during contractions was really helpful.

We had decided to leave calling the midwife until as late as possible as my midwife of the last 10 years who had been with me for all the births could not come that evening and so I was likely to get a midwife I had never met before. This had been a worry for me as I was concerned that she may not fit in with our way of doing things. However, half way through I found myself actively letting go of those worries and just accepting that what would be would be. My husband called the hospital at 1am and the midwife turned up about 1.45. By that point I did another internal check and was puzzled that I could not feel my cervix which made me think I had not dilated at all – rather than realising that I was close to fully dilated. My conscious brain took over for a bit, thinking that if I was not even dilated, how could I cope with many more hours of these contractions. However very quickly I went back into my birthing mode and simply worked with each individual contraction, visualising my cervix opening, breathing rhythmically and rotating my hips.

Not long after the midwife arrived, I began to feel that familiar pressure as the baby had moved down and was ready to be born, At that point I had another moment of self doubt as I looked at my husband and said “ I don’t like this any more!”. I also stared shaking which my conscious mind told me was a great sign as the baby was about to be born. A few contractions later I began to involuntarily start pushing. Just before I began pushing I found myself thinking yet again – this is the last time you are going to do this – enjoy it, remember the feelings, cherish this incredible power in your body, trust your body and go for it. Within seconds my body took over and simply pushed my son gently down and out as I continued to breathe rhythmically making low groaning sounds. His head and body were born in just one slow continuous push lasting about 3 minutes.

My husband had woken our eldest son just a few minutes earlier and so he came down just in time to see the baby being born. It was wonderful to have my body give birth with no one touching me or the baby. The midwife was fantastic and totally respectful of our wishes – all she did was check my blood pressure and the baby’s heart beat when she arrived and then left me completely alone. As soon as he slid out of my body, I completely came out of “the zone” as my son likes to put it and excitedly said “where’s my baby” as I had not put my hands down to catch him. After fumbling around at the bottom of the dark pool, I scooped him up and gazed down at this wondrous new addition to our family. He was so calm that I actually think he was still asleep. He did not make a sound or even open his eyes. He wriggled a little and then snuggled into my arms – he was perfect!
As I had had a slightly low lying placenta I decided to get out of the pool to birth the placenta which came out quickly and easily as the baby latched on and began feeding. My eldest son (aged 9) clamped and cut the chord. He even put on a pair of gloves and had a feel of the placenta as the midwife explained what was what and how it worked.

It had been such a wonderful birth and I felt so bblessed that my last birth was as close to perfect as it could be. It had been hard going the last couple of hours and I had the usual feelings of self doubt – but once again, never did I feel out of control, never did I feel fear, never did I feel that my body was not able to birth my baby. My un questionable faith in my body, my ability to use hypnosis to truly relax my body and my trust and belief that I was perfectly designed to birth my baby carried me through. I am physically no different to any other woman. I do not believe that my body is better equipped to give birth than other women. I do believe however that my beliefs and my mind set are what make the difference

By letting go of fear, by truly trusting your body at a subconscious level and by learning how to work with your body through relaxation, breathing and visualisation, I know that all women have the possibility to have a positive birth. The crazy thing is that it is not difficult to achieve. Self hypnosis is so simple and easy and yet it can be life changing. My deepest wish is that I can get this message out so that all women have the opportunity to have a positive birth experience.

2010-01-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

It has been a couple of weeks since my last entry as life has been hectic over xmas and new year. With only a week or 2 until baby No 5 I am getting myself as prepared as possible.

I have had a tough few weeks physcially with some bad back pain and an awful bout of a urinary tract infection. However as with all things in life I have gained some positive outputs from this.

For the back pain I have discovered "earth shoes" - the soles are slightly higher at the front than the back so when you stand and walk the pelvis is tilted very slightly which relieves a huge amount of pressure from the spine. I have worn these non stop for about 4 weeks and have no more pain or twinges - a miracle when 39 weeks pregnant. I got them from http://www.loveshoes.co.uk/ - highly recommendeed to any pregnant woman or any one with lower back pain.

Re the UTI - I am so opposed to antibiotics (especially when pregnant) but came so close to taking them as the condition went on for almost a week and I spent about 4 days in real discomfort strapped to the loo!!. However with perseverence, drinking about 12 pints a day and taking apple cider vinegar, honey and intense probiotics I have got through it with out having to comprimise my or my body's immune system so close to the birth. The other wonderful learning is that I have have had more energy, felt more alert and my skin looks amazing due to the volume of liquid I have consumed. It appears I have been so dehydated for years!

My third blessing is that I have rediscoverd the magic of my own hypnosis CDS! Inspite of working with them day in day out for so many years, it is only by practcing what I preach that I remind myslef of how beneficial they are. I have been listening to my home birth CD and still get amazed at how relaxed and calm I feel after listening ot them.

Pre orders of my book now available

2009-12-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

We put the facility for pre orders of the Effective birth preparation book on our website this morning and so far today have had over 20 pre orders for the book which is fantastic. The books will be posted out on the 14th December. \you can pre order from http://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/

Taunton birth Forum

2009-12-04T06:38:00.000-08:00

I have justspent a wonderful 2 days in Taunton Somerset running a birth professionals study day and talking at the Taunton birth Forum run by Eleanor Copp http://www.relaxedparenting.co.uk/.

I always enjoy running the birth professional study days as it gives me a chance to talk all day about a subject I feel so passionately about! It was lovely to have Olivia Seck join me as a fellow birth hypnotherapist, Doula and trainer, plus we had a range of midwives, students and doulas. One of the comments was it was the best study day she had ever been to and a student midwife said that this should be complusory for all students!

In the evening there was a good turn out at the Taunton birth forum with pregnant mums, new mums, reflexologists, homeopaths and so on. The monthly get togethers are are great support newtork for both parents and birth professionals to learn from each other, swap ideas and provide support. There is an impressive line up of speakers for next year so have a look if you are in the area. A big thank you to Elearnor and Simon for organising the evening and supplying a lovey range of mince pies and christmas snacks. Also thanks to Eleanor for inviting me back to her house and cooking a lovley supper with her 4 fabulous kids. .

2009-11-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

Having worked in the arena of natural birth for almost 10 years and learnt from some amazing people along the way, it is humbling and honouring to have some of those people recognise and even praise the work I am doing.

The wonderful Sheila Kitzinger has sent me the following review of my book:-

'Here is a fascinating and impressive book that empowers a woman to prepare for birth drawing on her own inner resources. - She doesn't have to depend on others to discipline and train her, but through insight and understanding, and using skills of relaxation, rhythmic breathing, and the art of creative imagination, she can focus on the birth energy released in her body.

She learns to manage pain and face the challenge of labour, whether it is fast or slow, and she is under her own control, nobody else's. The material is well researched and vividly presented, and any woman who studies and rehearses the author's practical suggestions helps herself towards a positive - even exultant - birth experience.'

You can read more about Sheila's work at:-
http://www.sheilakitzinger.co.uk/

I hope to have the book ready for general release by mid December.

Michel Odent's testimonial

2009-11-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

I feel honoured and excited to have had Michel Odent read my book and send me the following endorsement:-

"The book by Maggie Howell is much more than a practical guide for birth preparation. It is a book about human nature. It includes several dominant themes. One of them is the negative effect, in certain situations, of the knowledge adults have acquired the human way, compared in particular with the knowledge transmitted from generation to generation among non human animals. It is significant that the book starts with a chapter entitled ‘mammalising birth’. Several of the selected quotations, presented as foot notes, are opportunities to reintroduce this dominant theme: ‘Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee does not know that, so it goes on flying anyway’ and, some pages later, ‘a child should not be denied a balloon because an adult knows that sooner or later it will burst’.

Obviously, Maggie has digested the contents of the first pages of the bestseller written several thousand years ago. She has been able to interpret ‘the sin of consuming the fruit of the tree of knowledge’, and she has noticed the significant association, in the first pages of this famous ancient book, between knowing too much and being condemned to have difficult birth. In modern scientific language we can explain this association by introducing the concept of neocortical inhibition, and by claiming that the huge development of the neocortex – the brain of the intellect – is the main reason for difficult births in our species. The solution to cope with this human handicap is to put the neocortex at rest. This is why ‘natal hypnotherapy’ can be presented as a set of tools to overcome powerful neocortical inhibitions and the effects of thousands of years of cultural conditioning."

Warm regards

Michel

Fertility Show

2009-11-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

This weekend I had a stand at hte fertility show in London. The turn out was higher than I expected and I felt that the show was a real success. My colleague Gina Cox Roberts came along to help on Friday which was a huge help and between us we managed to speak to in excess of 200 women / couples who were planning to concieve. Spending 2 days with so many couples who were having difficulties brought it home to me how challenging it is for so many couples to achieve what should be the most natural thing in the world.

Also looking around the event I was surprised to see how much the support for women and couples preparing to conceive is based around physical preparation. We seemed to be the only ones providing "emotional" and "mental" support.

We did get some great feedback from several IVF clinics, therapists and counsellors who used / recommended the conception CDS - for example Hammersmith IVF clinic said that many of their women listen to our CD in the theatre when they are undergoing IVF and it helps relax all of them!

Swine flu jab

2009-11-04T06:32:00.000-08:00

As I am 30 weeks pregnant with my 5th child I am accutely aware of the concerns over siwne flu. as I have 4 young boys who are in constatnt contact with other kids the chances of getting the flu are fairly high - so mu dilema is do I go for the jab or trust in my bosy's natural defences?

I have not had a single antibiotic, vaccination, drug and barely a paracetamol in over 10 years so i am reultcant to take the jab without a great deal of throught.

My key concerns are:-
What effect will it have on the baby?
Will it really protect me from getting the flu?
Will it have an impact on my natural defences which are lower during pregnancy any way?

The jury is currently out.

Fertility show - November 6 & 7, 2009

2009-11-02T07:09:00.000-08:00

I will be running a stand at the fertility show at Olympia on the 6 & 7 November - http://www.fertilityshow.co.uk/

Opening entry

2009-11-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

Well it is quite exciting to finally start a blog!

I have just come back from a wonderful holiday with my family on the red sea, to find 100 copies of my book waiting at home. The book has taken some time to bring together and it feels great to finally see it in print.

The journey towards completing this book started almost 10 years ago when I first discovered the concept of using hypnosis to hlep with birth. Little did I know back then that it would go on the change my life and the lives of many other women.

The book is due to be released on the 1st December as there are still tweaks that need to be made, however you can pre order your copy by contacting the natal hypnotherapy office or contacting me directly.